Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Remembrance Of A Survivor(THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME)

I used to be quiet a vagabond in my childhood days. I wasn’t the average child who had the regular boring school-home-tuition-friends routine. Everyday of mine was marked with some new event about which nobody but I knew. I used to let myself indulge in all sorts of activities…from petty crimes to small acts of kindness to just roaming about like a mentally challenged loner or going to a new place to find some new people to play with. I still look back at those days and say…. Ahh… those were the days but it takes me about just over a minute to realise that those ‘were’ the days and I have something else to do now…something that will make me forget those days.
I have no guilt or shame whatsoever in admitting that the childhood days were what laid the foundation for me to be what I am now and I am proud to say that whenever I stole a bag from a man, I always made it a point to somehow return it to him within the next 5 minutes.
I was in class 6th when these little adventures of mine had first started and I have a really strong feeling that the only reason that I took those tuitions was because I wanted to roam around and enjoy some independence. Even as a kid I remember bugging my mother to let me cross the road by myself and go to school… although she never allowed me to do it but in a recent conversation about my ‘selfishness’ I was reminded that it was in class 2 that she first allowed me to go to school and come back alone. I must inform the reader that my school was not more than a 2min walk from my house at that time, crossing the road was all there was to it, but hey…what do you expect from a child. I was happy with the way it was then and I’m sure I had no idea why I wanted to go alone I know now…that this has always been a trademark of mine from the time I learned to talk and understand. Getting back to the point, my little adventures had not really started until class 7th when we shifted into a new society that was a little over 1 kilometre away from my school and my tuitions. It was at this time that I began to use my bicycle as my path to freedom and peace. My tuitions used to end at 7pm and I have often heard my friends say that my mother used to tell them to make me understand the importance of coming back home on time. Simply put, my tuitions ended at 7 and I don’t remember coming back home before 9. Here again, I urge the reader to understand that in my house, coming back home after 7.30 was like a reincarnation of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
So, as I was saying. Me and my dear cycle used to go to places, sometimes we used to ride as fast as we could and snatch a purse from a woman, only to return it on our way back. We used to have a jolly good time making friends and chatting with the roadside vendor who used to treat us to free boiled eggs very often. Sometimes I used to decide to go to Vasundhara Enclave and farther beyond the place and my poor old cycle would have to tag along, even though she was tired and out of gas. She used to have her revenge always though, I had a very hard and tiring time pulling her till there. I remember the one day when I was shit tired and had to look for a mechanic so that I could get the tires refilled with air. Oh man, was that bad or what! I was stuck at some place where there wasn’t a cycle mechanic for more than 3 kilometres on either side and I had to walk the all the way back to get my bike repaired. This was just one of the many instances of my adventures. There was this one time when I had tried to be Zorro. I had watched The Mask Of Zorro just before I left for tuition and I just had to leave my own symbol after my snatchings. Hence, my super fast brain thought of the perfect plan. I took a sheet of plain paper and cut it out very neatly into an ‘S’, the S stood for Sigmund since Sigmund had been born by that time but he wasn’t doing much stuff to get noticed, he used to be just a superhero that I dreamed off who could adjust to any situation and exhibit powers accordingly. So, I had my symbol, next was, how do we show it…well…again…after snatching I very skilfully threw the piece of paper towards my ‘victim’ so that he doesn’t know that I had thrown something...but little did I know, a wind was about to blow and alas…my little symbol floated away to some place far off. That was the last time I ever snatched anything though. I realised that I had become bored of it and also realised that I was in fact doing something very wrong. Yes, the people did look relieved when we came back at top speed and tossed there bag towards them. But it was still not something anybody would have liked. I am sure the reader will take me to be a certified retard after reading this and I am also sure that if you heard every little adventure that I can remember, you will actually have infinite thoughts in your head about me and the correctness in hanging out with me but I can assure you at least this much my friend. A lot of those adventured could be termed incorrect but all of them had taught me something or the other, I could at least form my own thoughts and ideas while I still had time to do it. They made me realise that I couldn’t do anything if I felt chained or forced. When I had to finally stop with these frivolities of mine, I realised that even the best things in life will not be with me always. You have to live with the memories, be happy that you have some happy memories and be upset when you have sad memories. It taught me, that there is a big difference between wanting to be alone and being independent but it is dangerously easy to get both of these mixed up and end up with nothing at all. I can tell you now that I have had a lot of experiences and I can hear people say that I am right. Yes, I will also tell you that I don’t like it when people always find me to be right but tell me my dear reader, isn’t that what all of us always want…don’t we always want to avoid every mistake and be right.
I have found no meaning in being with this system but I still give the people credit for being in it. I personally will never be a part of the system, it may sound absurd to you and it sounds scary to me. I’m not afraid of being scared, because that’s just another reason for me to walk on. I’ll have you know dear reader, that if you have even one true friend, then no matter what road you take, your friend will be at the parallel lane telling you to do what is right while the others tell you that you are wrong. If you have been unfortunate enough to not have such a friend, then I will be glad to oblige if you allowed me to.

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